“Should” or “Must” statements: You have a strict list of things you “should,” “must,” or “should not” do, and feel stressed out or anxious when you do not follow these rules. [8] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source Catastrophizing: You expect the worst-case scenario or blow things out of proportion. Even small problems are “horrible” or a “disaster. " All-or-nothing thinking: You see things only in black or white, as good or bad. Instead of acknowledging the complexities (or “gray areas”) of being human, things are either wrong or right and there is no in between. “What if"ing: You find yourself having an internal conversation about things you fear, such as “What if my child is hurt?” “What if I fail?” “What if I’m late?” and so on.
Negative thoughts lead to a negative mood state and positive thoughts lead to a positive mood state. When you feel down, pay attention to your thoughts. What have you been telling yourself? Try to spin negative thoughts into positives. For example, you may think to yourself “I’ll never finish all my work. " Change this thought by spinning it: “If I work at a steady pace and take regular breaks, I can knock this work out in __ hours. " When you change your viewpoint, you can change your level of stress altogether. Do your best to see things in a positive light, and avoid cynicism at all costs.
Write the evidence in the appropriate column. So if you’re catastrophizing because you’ve been running late (and you are thinking “I’m going to be fired”), your “for” column might look like: “I was late twice last week and they’re not going to tolerate me being late again;” while your “against” column might look like: “My boss said he understands that I have to drop my son off at preschool before I can drive to work,” “We have a time and attendance policy that allows me to be late a certain number of times, and I’m nowhere near that point,” and so on.
Write honestly and without fear. Your journal is only for you: no one else needs to read it or see what is stressing you out. It is a safe, judgment-free place to get out all your worries, emotions, thoughts, and feelings. [12] X Research source Once your thoughts are down on paper, they will no longer be taking up space in your brain. Journaling can help you experience clarity and see the source of your stress. Write out your problems to organize your thoughts. When your thoughts are not organized, you can’t think clearly, which leads to confusion and stress. If you have a problem and can’t decide between two solutions, make a two-column pros and cons list (for and against), such as dividing a sheet of paper down the center to compare two ways to handle that situation.
Stressors that may be unavoidable include schoolwork and exams, busy days at work, new babies, getting married, or moving. Some of these are actually good things but can still be a source of stress in your life. Learning healthy stress management techniques can help you “turn off” your stress alarm system so that you are not in a constant state of stress as you move through life. [16] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
Stressing about money you have spent (e. g. , overspending at the mall, lending money to family or friends, etc. ) Having clutter in your home or office space Being pessimistic Being late Spending too much time comparing your life to others on social media Waiting until the last minute to complete a task Ruminating about past events
Assertive people maintain eye contact, speak in a clear and non-threatening tone while standing up for themselves. If you know that you are already overbooked, say so. It’s okay to say “no” when you do it in a way that also respects others. Some people take on too much out of fear of missing out on new and exciting opportunities. Yet, they end up not performing as well as they would because they are dividing their energies between so many different tasks or activities. Carefully weigh the pros and cons of new obligations, and decide if the effort will be worth it considering your current workload. [18] X Research source
Toss items that are rarely used and have no value rather than stockpiling them. Gather as a team (i. e. , spouses, families, or roommates) and take on cleaning together. Group effort makes the process go by quicker and with more fun. Sort through papers and mail and toss or file as needed. Develop a regular schedule of doing this to prevent papers from piling up. Designate places to store frequently used items so they can be easily retrieved when you need them. Clean your workspace after each work session to prevent clutter from getting out of hand.
Researchers have found that music can change brain functioning in similar ways as medication. So, regular music really can help to “cure” stress and anxiety. [23] X Research source
You can make the benefits of yoga last longer when you practice it regularly. Early morning is the perfect time, but you can practice it whenever you feel stressed out. If you are pressed on time, combine it with an exercise routine you are already following as your warmup or cool down practice.
If you are a beginner it’s best to take on a guided meditation program under an expert. You can get a hold of good books and videos on meditation for regular practice.
If you don’t get enough sleep, your body can’t get rid of the excess hormones and toxins that have built up and cause stress, making your stress a never-ending cycle. Try to get 7-9 hours of sleep on a nightly basis.
If you suffer from chronic stress, consider joining a religious group and see what inner guidance and comfort it has to offer.
