Use a calm tone of voice and stay professional throughout the conversation. Try saying something like, “I’d really like for us to work together to solve this issue. "

Nodding your head when they make a point Using facial expressions to demonstrate interest Maintaining eye contact

For example, if some of your employees are arguing about prime office space don’t worry about whether or not you simply like one better than the other.

If problems persist, ask HR to help you moderate the conflict. They are trained in conflict resolution. If you are an HR manager who is having trouble managing a conflict, the best thing to do is to rely on your company’s guidelines. Following protocol can help you know what to do. If that method isn’t working for you, reach out to a trusted colleague or supervisor for help. Talk to them about the problem you are having and ask for guidance.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by emotions—especially if you’re angry or anxious—wait until you’re feeling calm again before you try to talk about it. [6] X Expert Source Liana Georgoulis, PsyDLicensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 6 September 2018. While it’s tough to cool down in the heat of the moment, it can be helpful to tell yourself something like, ‘“Okay, I know that arguing with Roberto usually gets my blood boiling, so I’m going to try to stay calm. I won’t let my emotions dictate the tenor of the conversion. Count to three before responding to any of his statements, especially if I perceive them as accusations. “’

Approach the situation head-on from the beginning. If the other person or persons suggests a heart-to-heart, accept. If the other person seems standoffish, reach out to them.

Take deep breaths to keep yourself calm. Breathe slowly in through your nose and out through your mouth. You could also have a tough conversation in a space where you feel comfortable. If you need to talk to a friend, try a coffee shop that you like. Maybe you could have a tricky work discussion in the breakroom so that you’ll be on neutral ground. Choose a location that feels good to you.

Don’t slouch, sit with your arms crossed, or face the other way. Don’t fidget with something like you’re bored. Sit or stand with your shoulders back, your arms at your sides, and facing the subject at all times.

Instead of saying “You always cut me off and never let me finish my sentence,” try going with the more diplomatic “Please don’t interrupt me; I let you finish talking and I’d appreciate the same courtesy. "

An example of a good “I” statement might look like this: “I feel put down when you ask me to clean up the dishes like that because I’ve spent the better half of the day preparing a nice meal for us and I’d appreciate some acknowledgment from you. "

You might have to compromise, but that can be a good thing.

For example, avoid something like, “I hate when you’re like this! I don’t even want to deal with you!” Instead, try “I feel like we’re having trouble communicating. Can we start this conversation again? I’ll be calmer. "

Instead of assuming your partner is always late coming home because they don’t care about you, try saying, “Is everything okay at work? I’ve noticed you’re getting home really late. "

Maybe you and your partner are arguing about who does the most work around the house. Even if you feel like you do the majority of it, suggest setting up a chore calendar or finding another way to divvy up duties.

Under-promise, over-deliver. This is the manager’s mantra, but it may as well be yours. Don’t promise the other person the world just because you’re sick of the conflict and want it resolved quickly. Promise the other person slightly less than what you think you can deliver — be realistic about it — and then wow them by exceeding their expectations. Don’t punish them after you compromise. Don’t purposefully do a bad job at whatever you said you’d do because you don’t really believe in the compromise. This will only prolong the conflict.

Ask yourself — how important is this thing we’re arguing about? In the grand scheme, is this going to make or break my relationship with this person, or is it something I can let slide? Ask yourself — is there anything you can do about the situation? Sometimes, we get mad about problems over which other people have no control.